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Sometimes I think you’re not a true Milwaukee Brewers fan until that subscription to Pessimism Weekly starts.

Case in point: The Yovani Gallardo saga.

When Gallardo’s right leg did its Gumby imitation at Wrigley Field Thursday, I shared his pain.

And when Ned Yost let him keep pitching – not just for that inning, but the next one, too – I shared Brewer Nation’s pain.

But when word came that Gallardo’s ACL is torn asunder, I was unprepared for Brewer Nation’s reaction. On message boards and talk radio, there was one single, solitary, overriding fan sentiment.

It’s all over.

Never mind that it’s only May. Forget the rest of the talent that graces this team, or that it’s managed a winning record despite most of that talent underachieving. And disregard that little-known rule in baseball that allows these things called “trades.”

None of that mattered. Gallardo’s done? Screw it. Let’s go lawn bowling.

I half-expected to see Brewers jerseys fluttering down from the Hoan Bridge. Those poor seagulls, I thought. They’ll never know what hit ’em.

Now I’m well aware that fans have a tendency to get, shall we say, emotional. Every win is a reason to pee your pants (which we discourage) and every loss is a mandate to fire Ned Yost (which may hold merit).

And I’m not oblivious to the challenges facing the Brewers. Losing a stud like Gallardo absolutely hurts. Like a root canal from Orin Scrivello. Replacing him with Dave Bush? You’re swapping T-bone for Tofurky.

Meanwhile, Carlos Villanueva and Manny Parra have to stop treating the fifth inning like it’s their own personal Rancor. And the house is winning big on the Eric Gagne gamble. And Rickie Weeks could use a vacation above the Mendoza Line. And maybe it’s time to search for connections between the offensive woes and the “pitcher batting eighth” experiment.

But is it over? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

(Germans? Forget it, he’s rolling.)

And it ain’t over now.

It’s early folks. A lot can happen between May and October.

Just ask the 2007 Brewers.

This week’s pop quiz

1) Why is Yi Jianlian smiling?

A) Because he’s part of a historic Olympic moment.

B) Because nobody’s whistling him for a foul.

C) Because an announcer on a road trip finally pronounced his name right.

Turning the Page

An old sportswriting friend always reminded me to not feel sorry for coaches who got fired or players who got cut. Save the sympathy for laid-off factory workers and stray puppies, not multimillionaires playing a kids’ game.

And yet, I can’t help having a little compassion for Derrick Turnbow.

Don’t get me wrong. Turnbow certainly deserved his release. Big-league pitchers are paid to get outs, and 15.63 isn’t an ERA, it’s a history lesson about the Council of Trent.

But rarely do you see a hometown player take so much abuse from his hometown fans. At least one not named Terrell Owens. When they redo this list, Derrick deserves a spot.

Whenever Turnbow came into a game, Miller Park turned into Philadelphia at a Santa Claus sighting. And this was before he threw a pitch.

Now Turnbow finds himself with something of a Sophie’s choice. Does he do what’s best for his career or his bank account?

If the Brewers can’t trade Turnbow, they’ll try assigning him to Triple-A Nashville. Turnbow can refuse the assignment and sign with another team, but then he voids a Brewers contract that pays him $3.2 million this year. That’s nearly as much as he’s earned in his entire career (around $3.6 million, according baseballalmanac.com), and he’s not getting another $3 million contract from somebody else.

If Turnbow can regain his confidence, he’s still got the stuff to pitch in the majors. But I don’t see how someone as sensitive as him ever regains that confidence in Milwaukee.

Good Sports

From our lump-in-the-throat department, we bring you Tom Rinaldi’s ESPN piece on the inspirational softball story out of the Pacific Northwest. It’s the SportsCenter spot about an amazing display of sportsmanship between Western Oregon and Central Washington. May it become required viewing for youth athletic programs everywhere.

And Finally

Brewers fans may be pessimistic about their team, but not about Miller Park. According to Sports Illustrated, only Cleveland is happier than Milwaukee when it comes to satisfaction with their hometown ballparks.

Miller Park ranked first in the subcategories of food and promotions. So apparently nothing succeeds like the sausage.

Tune in every Tuesday morning from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m. when I join Doug Russell and Mike Wickett on SportsRadio 1250 AM. And don’t forget to check out our Bar Time column.